Two stops later the Connex ticket inspectors came through the carriage, fine book and pen at the ready. The look of glee that crossed their face as they saw I had no ticket was quite disturbing and it didn’t dissipate as I explained my tale of woe and misfortune and jammed ticket machines.

The ‘gentleman’ explained to me that as I had no proof that the ticket machine was jammed and I was probably using it as an excuse not to buy a ticket, I would be paying a fine. It was at this point I whipped out the camera and proudly displayed the jammed coin slot and providing him with the EXIF data to show that the photo had been taken no more than ten minutes ago.

Another of the inspectors was obviously a photographer of some level as he explained to the protesting inspector that EXIF data (he even used that term) cannot be easily changed in camera and that he was more than satisfied that I was telling the truth.

RXA 1, Connex 0.

When he was leading the commentary team AND spending time during each match in front of the camera (in the cream, bone, white, off-white, ivory or beige jacket) his commentary was always straight down the line … I remember when one of the other commentators would try and coax a story out of him he would have no bar of it.

This year, relieved of television duties (and seen in a blue jacket!) he is taking part in stories about Michael Slater’s tattoos and wondering if modern day cricket medics still use a bag of peas to ice ankles with. The man as I often say to friends still has one of the most amazing cricket recollections in the game but know he’s that he is funny, I’m enjoying the cricket a lot more.

“The two leading parties, Original John and Sprinkles Kev07, have put forward staggeringly similar policies, offering free Krispy Kreme doughnuts to every customer who visits stores the day after the election. This is a guaranteed election sweetener for the Australian public!”

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